That Sinking Feeling

                When nostalgia turns to reality. When past rolls back into present. When the same depressing songs play, the same old cold breeze blow in hot summers, when you visit the same old place, when you walk through the same roads.. it is when the past revisits with its not-so-jolly aura.

Contradistinction: when an ever-evolving and adaptable person that you are is suddenly hit with luridness and you turn into a Luddite.

The world turned upside-down, but twice. The high-spirited girl was taken aback by the sheer selfishness, cunningness, pretence and deceit. How can one manage to blend all the negatives so well and yet market oneself to be just the opposite?

                We are humans, not robots that you set any emotion that you want to get projected. So how on earth people are able to carry the sham flawlessly and not get caught?

Is it the purity of heart and emotions that are always murdered for the sadist’s pleasure? Why? Is it the selfless care that is trampled and laughed upon? Is it the innocence that is brutally killed with a sharpened knife to emblazon the marks?

It is that sinking feeling when you lose all hope of achieving what you have been craving for for years. It is the mockery of the emotions that were sediments to the trauma that one went through once. It is victim to the ruthless and careless love that was never reciprocated with the exactitude quantum of loyalty.

The sudden appearance of the bygone has me startled.

Bhale hi waqt ne mujhe barbaad kiya, lekin mai usey barbaad nahi karungi.

*Loyalty*